Compassion Focused Therapy for Dummies by Mary Welford

Author:Mary Welford [Welford, Mary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Psychology, Psychotherapy, General, BODY; MIND & SPIRIT, Spirituality
ISBN: 9781119078692
Google: n0RKDAAAQBAJ
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
Published: 2016-06-02T00:05:09.686524+00:00

We can better understand ourselves by better understanding others. If we intellectually and emotionally understand the struggles and darker sides of other people, and practise compassion for them, it can help us recognise and work through our own difficulties – the parts of us we often don’t like to think about.

Maybe the people you don’t like and don’t understand are friends and allies you are yet to discover!

Identifying the Qualities and Attributes of Your Compassionate Self

You may already have an intuitive sense of what your compassionate self (or you at your compassionate best) is like. You can think of your compassionate self as the embodiment of your compassionate mind. In other words, your compassionate mind provides you with compassionate attention and thoughts, but your compassionate self walks, talks and engages in courageous acts.

Before we explore the physicality of your compassionate self, you may find it helpful to consider its qualities.

Write down the qualities you’d hope your compassionate self would have. Maybe you include qualities such as kindness, patience, warmth, sensitivity and friendliness?

In Chapter 2, we explore how compassion feels in the mind and body by focusing our attention on someone or something in distress. It may be useful to re-engage with this exercise or to review any notes that you made at the time.

Take a look at the compassionate attributes outlined in Chapter 2. Perhaps you missed something important that you can add to your list?

Missing an important attribute from your list may suggest that this exercise is difficult for you. Alternatively, it may be something that is so second nature to you that you don’t recognise it!

If you find that certain attributes create more difficulty for you than others, it may be helpful to consider why this is or head to Chapters 6 and 7 for more on common barriers to compassion.

Your list is probably full of compassionate qualities and attributes by now, but there may be a few qualities that you haven’t considered. The following sections delve deeper into the qualities of compassionate wisdom and the value of strength, courage and commitment when developing your compassionate self.

Don’t worry if you look at your list of ‘want-to-have’ qualities and feel you have a lot of qualities to work on – that’s what this book is for! The later section, ‘Cultivating Your Compassionate Self’, explores how you can build on your compassionate qualities.

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